Tag Archives: postponed funerals

No chance to mourn

Handel blog 11*

Handel’s Memorial at Westminster Abbey

From Katherine:  Several times, in our phone conversations, Forella has expressed her gratitude at having Angela and Annie and Randolph there with her in her roomy townhouse while this pandemic oozes around outside.  Ross has adhered to the advice not to visit her, and she sees the wisdom in that, she admits.  But, Ross, you should know that she worries about you there alone in that big house with no other to keep company.  She knows you have many online friends, but she worries nonetheless, as mothers do.  She said it was ok to share this worry, so, Ross, what say you?

From Ross:  Well, I expect several of us are in the same boat—stuck at home all alone.  It sounds bad, but truthfully, I am glad I have a place to call home, a place I feel safe.  And I’m glad my mother does, too, and especially glad she has people there at her home, glad she isn’t in a retirement home or something.  As for me, I can take a walk on my grounds or along the canal, pick up a garlic chicken dinner at Sahm’s, and go home to my place and watch movies or Zoom with friends.  It’s not so bad.  But I am a “privileged elite” as they say—and they are right.  I feel sorry for those poor souls with no home to go to or a makeshift place with six people to a room.  I feel infinitely more safe than our country’s less fortunate—occasional loneliness or not.

From Wait:  It is good to have someone with you, there’s no denying that.  I would say that even if my wife weren’t looking over my shoulder.  🙂 But here is the thing—it is really something to worry about if you have a relative in a nursing home.  If the virus gets a toehold there—look out!  And if, God forbid, they die—don’t expect to be able to hold a funeral.  Don’t expect to see them before they die.

From Katherine:  Yes, it is true.  One of the many sad consequences of this pandemic is the number of people who die separated from their families and denied the honor of a wake or funeral that brings together the people who loved them.  Often they haven’t had time to write a will or indicate what they would like to have happen should they die suddenly.  They may not have decided on a burial plot or grave marker.  Handel had at least known for some time that he was losing ground.  He had made out a will, and he had his servants there in his last hours. He knew that he would be memorialized in a fine sculpture at Westminster Abbey.  Maybe we will say more about such important markers next time.

*All posts listed as “Handel blog” are texts that use the fictional characters in my book The Handel Letters: A Biographical Conversation.  As in that book, the posts will often reference things from Handel’s life or time period as starting points.  And the post will cite a page or paragraph in the book when it seems relevant.   Find The Handel Letters.